The Third 50: What the 200 Backstroke Taught Me About Moving Through Hard Things
SPOILER ALERT: There is a point in almost every hard thing I do when I become absolutely convinced that I’m not going to make it.
I want to quit. I question why I started. I decide I’ve taken on too much, I’m not capable of doing it, and I just won’t be able finish the job.
The interesting thing is that this pattern is surprisingly predictable.
I learned that from swimming the 200 backstroke.
As a swimmer, the 200-yard backstroke was one of my strongest events. And after more than a decade of training for and competing in it, I realized there was a pretty predictable trajectory to my experience of the race.
The first 50 was easy speed. I felt good, the adrenaline was high, and my thoughts were something along the lines of: This is great. I'm rocking this. I've got this. I'm crushing it. Let's go!!!
The second 50 was still pretty steady, but it was starting to hurt, especially by the fourth lap. This was where I started to get logical and lean on my training. OK, I still have this. This is starting to hurt, but I know what to do. Crap, OK, this is actually really starting to hurt. Stay steady. Breathe. Head back. Stroke count up. Focus on the kick.
And then came the third 50.
The third 50 was my nemesis.
It was by far the hardest part of the race for me mentally. It hurt so badly, but I was still too far from the finish for the end to pull me forward. My mindset would start to completely collapse, the wheels flying off at rapid speed. Oh my God, I actually can't do this. I'm not going to make it. This hurts so bad, and I'm still so far from the finish. I just can't do it. I CAN’T DO IT. I want to quit.
Then came the last 50, when my mind basically just turned off. There wasn't much thinking anymore. All of my energy went into my body and doing whatever it took to just get. to. the. wall.
This may have been my experience of the 200 backstroke, but over the years, I’ve started to notice that I seem to “swim the same race” in other areas of my life, too.
When I start a new project, a graduate class, or something else that requires sustained effort, the first 25% is usually “easy speed”. I'm excited. I have energy. I'm full of ideas. This is great. This is cool. I'm crushing it. I love this!
Somewhere between 25-50% of the way through, it starts to hurt. The novelty has worn off. The work is harder than it was in the beginning, but I'm still pretty steady. This is where I start leaning more heavily on the strategies and structures I have in place to keep myself on pace.
And then I hit the third 50.
Somewhere between halfway and three-quarters of the way through a project or experience is where I am most likely to quit. This is where I experience the most stress, the most self-doubt, and sometimes, yes, the breakdowns. I've put in too much work for it to feel new and exciting anymore, but I'm still too far from the finish to feel pulled toward it.
And I’ve found that my thoughts are remarkably similar to the ones I had in the pool:
I can't do this. I'm not going to make it. Why did I think I could do this? I want to quit.
Once I get about 75% of the way through, something usually shifts again. I can see the end. My mind turns off a little, and I just get it done.
What's been so helpful about recognizing this pattern is that it’s given me a map. I know where I tend to struggle, and I know when to expect the hardest part.
I know the third 50 is coming.
Don’t get me wrong — that doesn't necessarily make it less intense! It never did when I was swimming, either. But it does help me understand what's happening when I get there.
I don't have to interpret the fact that I'm struggling as evidence that I shouldn't be doing this, that something has gone wrong, or that I'm actually incapable of finishing.
It’s more like:
Oh right, here we are. This is the third 50.
Knowing where I tend to struggle gives me the ability to prepare for it. I can give myself more support. I can have more grace for myself. I can be more careful about what I take on in other areas of my life. I can ask for help.
And I can remind myself not to make major decisions from the third 50. Because the third 50 is a terrible place to evaluate the whole race.
I swam the 200 backstroke hundreds of times. Probably thousands, if you count practice. Not every race was stellar. Some were terrible. Sometimes I fell apart. Sometimes I touched the wall completely defeated.
But I always touched the wall.
I always finished.
Which means that the two thoughts I had over and over again—I can't do this and I'm not going to make it—were factually incorrect.
I certainly felt that way. The pain was real. The exhaustion was real. The desire to quit was real.
But the prediction wasn't.
I think we all have our own version of “the third 50”.
Our own predictable places where things get harder. Where our energy changes, our confidence drops, or we become more likely to quit. And if we pay attention, we may notice that the thoughts that show up are pretty predictable, too.
The more we understand our own patterns, the more of a map we have for moving through hard things. Not a map that lets us avoid the hardest parts, but one that helps us recognize where we are when we get there.
So, what does your map look like?
Where do you tend to struggle most when you're moving through something hard? When are you most likely to doubt yourself, lose momentum, or want to quit? What thoughts tend to meet you there?
And what would change if, instead of being surprised every time you reached that part, you knew to expect it?
Maybe you’d remember:
It’s OK, I've been here before.
And I know more about how to get through it than I think.
Interested in understanding your own patterns—and building a better map for moving through the hard parts? Feel free to reach out or schedule a free 15-minute consultation call.